From Money Trauma to Generational Wealth with Patrice Bobo-Miles

Posted by Shannon Robnett Posted at January 4, 2023 Posted in Podcast

Patrice Bobo-Miles, Prosperity Strategist & Mentor, shares her journey to reach financial freedom and the struggles that lead to her changing habits to reach it. In this episode, we are going to talk about responsible money management and credit use to build the foundation you need to pursue Real Estate Investing and achieve generational wealth.

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From Money Trauma to Generational Wealth with Patrice Bobo-Miles

Welcome back to another episode of The Real Estate Run Down. We are in season 2 and you know, like, this week has been my week I’ve got the opportunity to interview a really good friend of mine, Wagner Nolasco, I get the same opportunity to interview a very dear friend of mine today, Patrice Bobo-Miles who I have gotten to know and love, love the authenticity. So you guys are gonna dig this conversation. But let me turn it over to Patrice so she can introduce herself and tell us who she is, and why she’s so stinking fabulous.

Okay, so it’s not going to be a big secret that I just absolutely love Shannon Robnett, but my name is Patrice Babo-Miles. And I do a couple of different things. I have been a Mortgage Loan Originator for 25 years. And so, you know, certainly we can talk about what is going on in our market right now. About a year ago, I became an investor. So I became a landlord about a year ago. So buy and hold investor, I have long term renters in my property. And it’s been a really great experience. Now why it took me that long, of course, you know, that’s its own other story, right. 

Shannon, we’re gonna get into it. And I am also a prosperity strategist and mentor. So in that capacity, and through my company, Keep Up On Miles Collective, I mentor and work with clients to help them work through money blocks, and money traumas. And in doing so, you know, we really tap into what are the emotions that are our ruling, how you overspend, over save, and just really don’t have a real clarity and how to move with your money, have your money work for you, and grow with your money. So really work hard on that. And then we start to, you know, build that foundation, a firm financial foundation to help them move forward in their money, money goals.

So we’ve talked about this a lot, you and I offline, and not just today. But I mean, I think we’ve had a half a dozen conversations about this. And one day, it’s the conversation about why maybe you are your perfect candidate to be your first client in your prosperity business and get that unblocked, and then I’m calling you and you’re like, Oh, my God, you have money, trauma, honey. And, you know, this is these are the conversations we have. And I honestly, I had things that made me sick when I thought about them with money, but I didn’t think I had money trauma now in 2008, nothing was going good for anybody. Right? I mean, and when we look back at that, that caused a lot of life events for a lot of people. And now we’re starting to see some of that as we move forward. But what what is it that? I mean, what is it we hear about trauma like that all the time, with relationships or with you know, parenting trauma or childhood trauma? What what is how does it manifest in the money trauma in your business world? How does that happen in your business life?

You know, interestingly enough, the money the mismanagement, I guess, is the best way to say it. So the mismanagement of money is like, the actualization of what the trauma is, you know, because a lot of people want to talk about you know, money is a tool, you know, there’s no emotion attached to your money, you should just be able to look at the numbers and make this decision. And here are the strategies to save and here are the strategies to pay off your debt and here are the strategies to invest and grow your wealth and save for retirement and you know, do all of these things but the long and the short of it is your money is a relationship I and it’s a relationship like a marriage, like a partnership, you know, you have

And we break up all the time, me and my money.

My money used to break up quite a bit too. It was kind of toxic. Though, that’s the case it is it’s an emotional thing. And you know, I could go back and and tell you my money talds, because I came to this end of it, after working through my own crap Working through, you know, the guilt and the shame and all that it was the money infidelity in my marriage. And you know, the first time I said that, where somebody looked at me and went, Oh, and I said, I want you to think about that, because what is an infidelity? It’s the breaking of a trust.

There you go. Thank you for coming out with that.

But infidelity is a breaking of a trust. And so, you know, what are some simple ways to do that? Let’s say you decide to open charge accounts, but you have the bill sent to another address. So your spouse number knows they exist. Guilty? Yeah. Let’s say you know, I, you go shopping every week, seven days, five days, and you hide the bags in your trunk, and you wait for your spouse to leave the house. And you carry it all in and you take off the tags, and you hang it up, and you take the shoes out of the box, and you put them in the closet and you put the handbags where they go. And then you discard all of that stuff. Yeah. And, you know, when your spouse finally, when you finally let them in on that, that’s a huge betrayal. I mean, it is a financial betrayal of trust. 

Yeah, but where does that come from? I mean, it here you have people that in every other aspect of their life, right, they’re not lying to their spouse, they’re not, they’re not down at the bar, you know, trying to find somebody else. They’re not doing all the other things. But this is still when you pointed out like that. This is still cheating. This is this is still doing that, where does that come from? Because you take a normal person who would never in a million years, do that to their partner, but this is part of their life out. But where does that come from? Why does that happen?

You know, it can come from a lot of places. And you know, my story and working with some of my clients. Some of it goes back to, you know, financial literacy is not necessarily taught, right. So we pick up money habits by what we see. But we have to realize that we’re seeing that through the lens of a child, right? And so you kind of see what you see, and you interpret what you think you interpret growing up. You know, I grew up in a middle class military family didn’t walk for a whole lot, honestly, we were kind of spoiled. And we’re fortunate in that respect. So you know, when I got married, and I got married young, I was 22. And I got married. I mean, my husband and I literally, we didn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of like a lot of couples. Right? And, you know, I, I’ve thought about it, because Shane, and I’ve been asked this question a lot of times, and, you know, there there came apart, with, again, growing up, and it was kind of like, when I turned 16, I got a car. You know, when it was time to start school, we went school clothes shopping, you know, I always had new clothes to start school, I needed 20 bucks to go hang out at the mall. I was like, Hey, can I have 20 bucks, and I just get 20 bucks and go to the mall. And I understand how fortunate it is to grow up like that. Yep. So to go from that to, you know, having to work a full time job living with my husband, we’re now adulting, you know. And there was also part of me that lost a sense of who I was, especially after we had our first kid, I was 24. And so I became, you know, my husband’s wife, and I became my child’s mother. And somewhere along the line, I forgot who I was as an individual. And so some of it was trying to fill what that void was. And some of it was, you know, I work in this house too. I contribute to pay the bills. So if I want to do a little shopping because I want to do a little shopping, leave me the hell alone. And let me do it. I’m it’s been or my husband’s a saver.

Yes, I knew that. Did you know that? Yes. I’ve had the pleasure of meeting Mike a couple of times. I know that.

Yes. And so I mean, it’s, you know, it’s different layers, whether you’re, you’re spinning from a place of, you know, like I was I was trying to fill a void. How about a place of fear, you know, place of scarcity. So there were so many things that can tie into to what that is. And nine times out of 10 you were using your money, you’re using your credit to fill something that you feel is missing in you. And so it’s that treat yourself mentality, right? Because there’s a high when you go shopping, it’s that instant gratification. You know, and I was talking to one of my clients recently and I said you know it’s kind of like being an alcoholic. Like, you know, you’re not going to drink anymore, but then you do. Right and it feels good that first drink, and then you wake up the next morning, right. And then the cycle repeats itself. You know, I hate the term retail therapy, that’s one of the worst terms anyone could have ever created. So, you know, it is really getting a hold of, number one, your emotions, really looking in the mirror and figuring out and then number two, breaking a lot of really bad habits and creating new habits, better habits to replace those.

You know, and that’s one of the things that I look at, you know, out of the fear, you know, I remember and I use this story quite a bit, where my son, when it came time to buy his first house, he didn’t want to, because he saw what his mother and I went through, when the downturn happened in a way. And all of our, all of his friends, their parents were losing their house, because everybody we knew was in construction, right? And here, you’ve got these traumatic issues as a child. And they played out there. And I remember sitting there thinking, wow, my son has this trauma, not realizing I had some of it in my own life.And I see that now, as an unfortunately, mine didn’t manifest when things were terrible. Mine is manifesting that things are great. Right? And, and just to be honest, guys, we’ve talked a lot about this offline. So I’m going to bring it up right now, because I’m getting a therapy session, and y’all gotta listen to it. But the reality is, I mean, I’m having a real issue, I’m looking at the price of mayonnaise in the store, right? Because I want to make sure I get the best possible deal. And what I don’t realize is that I just spent 30 minutes of my time, saving $14 clipping coupons, and my billable rates slightly more than that, right? And I walked out of the store, and I’m sitting there going, I don’t have enough time in my life, but I just saved $13.73. And it’s just like that I feel terrible because I wasted my time based on a habit that’s infiltrated my life, based on an experience that I had 14 years ago, that has completely reshaped my life. But there’s an underlying feel feeling there’s an underlying something here. That just makes me hurt, you know, just makes me cringe. I was talking with another gentleman today. And they were talking about a deal that went south and they lost their earnest money, and I just got sick in my stomach, because I know that feeling. You know, I’ve done that deal. I don’t think anybody that’s been in real estate for a while has not had their earnest money forfeited at some point. But it just it physically made me ill. And, you know, you you wonder how something that is just, it’s just money. Patrice, you know, me, I’m not, I’m not a person that puts all of his value in money. But yet, it’s such a part of my life that when these things happen, I feel physical things over an inanimate object that I’ll give them if you need. If you need 100 bucks, I got 100 bucks for you. If you need help getting your car fixed, I will. I’m the guy that will help you. But at the end of the day, it’s still tied into my spirit and all of mine is negative. I don’t have any positive. Right? I don’t have I don’t have any money elations you should. 

What is it that you feel you’re gonna lose? Or is it just that it’s not so much the money, but it’s a sense of I failed somewhere?

You know, I don’t know if it’s the fact that I failed and then I had to get tight with money. Whereas before, you know, things were fine. I didn’t care what we spent on the grocery bill. I didn’t care what that jacket cost or, you know, what the, what the meal cost or whatever. And then when we went to not having anything, you know, 9 and 10, nobody had anything, right? We went to that space. And now we got to pinch absolutely every penny, you know, that we kind of get off track on that, that we forget that there’s a time to do that. And not that you always have to be physically responsible and not that you can always afford to not be physically responsible, fiscally responsible, right. But at the same time, there was that part of me that I looked at it and I think, you know, honestly, I think the fact that I, I mean, I was 32 years old, I had a balance sheet with a At about, I don’t know, 28 $29 million, right? I mean, life was pretty good, you know, that I had a huge reversal of fortune, things have swung back the other way. But the reality was, maybe it’s the guilt of having that, and not having saved it so that I could keep it for when I needed it to protect my kids, you know, but that has influenced decisions I make now. And I can’t find an example of where it’s been positive.

Look at that guilt and fear. What are those their emotions? Well, yeah, guilt and fear. Yeah. And so, you know, so now you’re overcompensating to the point that you’re not necessarily moving forward in some aspects of what your financial journey is. Right. And I’m not saying you’re not making smart decisions, because I know you. 

But it’s still jaded.

Well, and it may always be jaded. I mean, let’s I was in the real estate industry in 2007-2008. I mean, I lived through all that, right? Hell, we almost lost our house. Yeah, I’ve made more money than then some people have lost before. And so to end up in a position that that the market crashed, and the money wasn’t there to support us through what that was. And, you know, at that point in time, because my husband and I were so different and how we looked at money. You know, we don’t, we didn’t have joint accounts, he wasn’t on any of my credit stuff. I wasn’t on any of his, with the exception of the house. That was it. Cars were in my name, credit cards were in my name. You know, with what I do for a living, I made substantially more money than he did. And so when that happened, you know, where’s the here’s the guilt. Right? Right, here, come, here come the notices, here’s the failure. Here’s the embarrassment.

Yeah. So let’s take what we learned. So we got the money, trauma, right. And we’re standing here, looking at a future that has quite a bit of uncertainty in it, right. It’s in no way the same as 2008. But you know, we just celebrated or just had a remembrance for September 11. And, and there was, you know, that trauma that happened in our lives and, and, you know, you look back on it, and there’s been eight or 10 traumas that have happened in our lives, you know, COVID working backwards, I mean, you know, COVID, shut everything down. And then there’s always insecurity, but we’re standing here now. And interest rates are climbing, and housing is slowing down and mortgages are slowing down. And tell me you don’t feel some of the things like your spidey senses are going Hey, remember, oh, eight, remember? ‘08 remember? ‘09?

Oh, absolutely. What do you mean, if you didn’t?

What are you telling yourself today? Because that, that, that remember that everything that you experienced there is coming forward? How do you how do you work through this? And stay in front of it, and not get overwhelmed by the past? Coming back and going? Remember me?

Are you a smarter person today than you were then? 

I would like to think I am. 

Are you making better decisions today than you were then?

I would like to think I am.

Have you put aside a good bit of money?

That answer is yes. Because I remember ’08.

And but that’s all you can because you’re never going to forget ’08, I never going to forget. Right? What that felt like? Yep. When I got the well, you know, we can foreclose on your home, or you or you can do it a deed in lieu of foreclosure. I never going to forget what that feels like. No, no, I’m never gonna forget being sued in court for a credit card that I couldn’t pay off. Right? I’m never gonna forget what that feels like. But in not forgetting. I’m also not making the same mistakes. 

Right. So, when you’re working with people, and you’ve, I mean, is that how you deal with the trauma is to look at what trying to figure out what caused the trauma and then try and set up the opposite action that will allow you to rest assured that you’re not going to wind up in the same situation as that.

You know,  every person is different. And I will tell you, you know, when I’m when I’m working with my clients, I tell them my money story, and no, I’m not going to tell us today. But you know, I tell them what my money story is, because they need to recognize that I’m a no judgment zone. I am a judgment free-zone.

As a truth true fact, ladies and gentlemen, this woman, I guarantee you, she will not judge, you know, because she’s not gonna work to pull crap. But if you know, next, you will definitely be a shoulder to cry on. And that’s for sure.

But you know, so that’s part of it. And as they’re writing their stories, they really start to see, you know, what affects it. Because again, and I’ve told my story, but I got more clarity when I wrote my story, if that makes sense. Yeah. And I can go back and read it every once in a while, because the habits or bad habits. And in some instances, that instant gratification you get, that’s a high like, you can’t you know, if I find if I find a Louis [Vuitton] bag on sale, you know, and it’s it’s $300 as opposed to seven. You know, there was a point I’m gonna go, it’s on sale, I’m gonna get it. But you know what? I have handbags in my in my closet? I don’t need another Louis. I don’t need another coach. Yeah. So that in itself is progress. So it’s, it’s really looking at what do I have? What do I need? And I mean, need? Yeah, versus what I want. And I mean, I had to track my spending for a while, like, track my spending, like, Where’s my money going? Because you know, we don’t handle currency anymore. No, think about it. Everything’s digital, debit cards, credit cards, Apple Pay Google Pay, whatever it is. So you know, you click your dang, you swipe. And a week later, you look and you’re like, where did that $1,000? Go? Where did it go? Sure, for sure. And so you know, it, I really tried to bring it all the way back down to the basics. Like I have my clients carry cash. Oh, but you know what, when you take that $100 bill out of your wallet, because you got to go pay for something. And when it makes you think twice about whether or not you really want to break it. And then two, you have a tendency to really look at what you’re spending your money on.

More of an object lesson that gets you to refocus on it.

It does, because it’s not the click, it’s not the swipe. It’s not the dang, it is actual currency. Right? Actual currency.

So when you look at that, and you I mean, you know, I’m, I’m thinking through some of my stuff, too. I mean, I get to be to a place where, you know, like, where went to Vegas, and I bought a couple of suits. Right? And my wife was cheering me on, right? Like, that is such a big thing for me to spend money on that kind of stuff. Because that’s on me, right? That’s, that’s something I mean, I yeah, I wear him for business. But you know, that’s on me. And I’m still sitting there going, I don’t want to spend money. But I will go out and buy 10 pieces of property. I will buy. I mean, I will be running my credit card up and down trying to get an earnest money to take, right? Because that’s business, but then I have that where I won’t get out of business mode enough to realize that the reason I do this is for myself and my family. Right? And so while we’re polar opposites, to some degree, the trauma is from the same place.

 It is. And so, you know, I know, because I know, as a parent, you know, I used to tell my kids, we’re spending everything. When we go we’re not leaving you anything. And of course, I was joking about it. But my kids are like livid. But so I understand the desire, right to make sure that your family is taken care of. But in taking care of your family. Why are you ignoring what some of your actual needs are? Aren’t you not worth taking care of yourself? So because Jesse doesn’t have a problem taking care of you.

You know, and I don’t  have a problem with taking care of her.

No and you don’t have a problem taking care of anybody else. But when it comes to Shannon, taking care of Shannon for some reason in your mind, you don’t feel that you are worth what it is for whatever reason, or I can put it off for another day because I need to do this for such and such or, you know, I really want to go buy the 600 acres of land today so I can’t see spending $1,200 on this suit.You know, I see that.

The two don’t equate, I mean the $1,200 wasn’t going to help with the land purchase. However the suit might help close the deal. Right? Close the deal. And you know, but I see that I also see this with my mom, right? i My favorite phrase that I’m not my favorite phrase, but the phrase I find myself using all the time with my mom, is we’ll be talking about something. And she goes, but I just don’t think we should spend the money. And I said, Hey, Mom, hold on. I’m gonna put you on hold. I’m gonna call my brother. We’re going to have a finance committee meeting. I pretend like I get a phone to go back on it. Yeah. Listen, the estate planning committee said y’all could spend it. You know? Because it’s the same thing. I’m like, What do you want to leave?

I grew up hearing it. Did you grow up hearing that? 

Oh man, my mom is the nicest dressed person you ever seen that’s never seen the inside of a retail store? Everything she wears a second hand. She grew up with that mentality now. And that, I don’t know if that’s good, or that’s bad or whatever. But the reality is, it’s just like, you know, my mom felt guilty, because the last time she came down to see me in Puerto Rico, I set her back first class. And she goes, What did you do? And I said, What do you mean? Because you’re 74 years old, you’re flying all day? I’m not going to be letting you sit in the back, sit up front, you know, and for me, it was no big deal for her. It was like, Oh, what are we going to do? And I’m talking about people that retired 25 years ago on cashflow. Yep, they’re not broke, right? But here’s this blockage. And the thing that it does, if I looked at their life, they’ve had all their assets paid for for 25 years, right? What they could have grown that into, has been hindered by that vision of having everything paid for. So they got it all cash. And they didn’t have any leverage on it. And that was a beautiful thing. But they could have grown that amount by using moderate leverage being smart about it, but that that blockage has been there that has kept them from doing it. The other thing that I see, and I know this for a fact, it’s affected their taxes, they have paid three times the taxes I have, over the last 20 years, actually four times, right. But they own everything for cash for there’s no depreciation, there’s no protection. And it comes from that. It’s an absolute blindness to the facts. And this is the thing, right? I can see the sliver in my mother’s eye. Well, I’ve got this log sticking out of my own right. 

You were raised with it. You were raised with that mentality, you were raised with it. And remember, what did I say? Our relationship with money often stems to what we saw or heard or learned as children. Right. And so you grew up hearing? And because I heard two things, when you said this, you grew up hearing, oh, we can’t do that. We can’t afford to buy that right now. Oh, we should wait to do that. Maybe we should save a little more. So there was always the we don’t we don’t ever have enough to do what we want to do right now. Right? And so let’s switch it to the business aspect of things. Because I know your business mind, you know, people don’t know how genius you are. So I’m just want to throw that out there. Don’t roll your eyes at me, Shannon. You know what, you’re a genius. But what I hear is, your mom and dad didn’t leverage what they could have leveraged, they have paid more in taxes, they could have grown more. So what you’re doing in your personal life, as you were adopting what you grew up hearing, oh, I can’t do that right now. I’m not worth spending that money right now, we can wait to I can put this off for a little bit longer, because I can take this time and this money, and I can put it into growing and leveraging my assets. Because I don’t want to end up like my parents. Without, you know, with paying a bajillion dollars in taxes every year with not taking advantage of the assets that I do have and how can I leverage and grow that because I still want to make sure that I’ve provided for my children and my family, when I’m no longer here. 

Man, you are good, you are good because that you know when I really stopped thinking about it, that is that is exactly where it’s at. And so you know, when you see those blockages, they’re stopping you from reaching your full potential. They’re stopping you from realizing your ability to be financially free. Right and, and so when you say financially free, is probably a whole different connotation than somebody else that says financial freedom is having control of your time and money. Actually, it’s exactly that instead of having your time or your money and your emotions control you. A big lightbulb moment right there.

There is such a freedom that comes with realizing that you’ve always been the one in control. And so when you get to recognizing that you’re the one in control, you start to move just a little bit differently. 

So financial freedom can come at any level, once. Once you really I mean, you can still be in a gob, you can still have debt, you can still have student loans, you still have all that, but when you realize that you’re the one that has the ability to control all of those aspects, to increase them or decrease them, to pay them or to let them default, you have all that control. All of a sudden, you have a sense of being okay. 

In that moment, you kind of figure something out. Because money is an inanimate object. It’s necessary, because it’s really clear. It’s necessary. Yes. But you know, it doesn’t come in your ear and go, Oh, hold on, do you mean, oh, don’t spin me, right? It doesn’t have that control over you. And once you’re like, okay, okay. And C for someone like you who doesn’t like to spend money on themselves. One of the things that I  would like an exercise I would have for you that you would absolutely hate. But you would have to do is, I don’t care if it’s $200. I don’t care if it’s $500. I don’t care if it’s $1,000. But set a limit, somewhere between $200 and $1,000. And you have to find a way to spend that on you, letting go of the guilt of spending that money.

Like you say, that would not be fun.

It’d be hard for a while. Yeah, it absolutely would be but it’s $200 Gonna make or break your lifetime savings is $1,000 is gonna make or break your lifetime savings. Oh, okay. And so if it’s not going to break your lifetime savings, and I’m sure that there’s a certain level of disposable income you have that could take up what that is. We all do. Okay, so So why is it a problem or an issue?

It’s a mental thing. I mean, I’m sitting here clearly.

That’s why that exercise comes into play. Yeah, if you don’t exercise the muscle, that atrophies. 

You know, actually, you know, I’m thinking about that. And I’m, and I’m really asking myself the question, why would I have this problem? Right? Why would I? Why would I not find this easier? II mean, this is $200. Right? 

You spend more than that on dinner because I’ve had it with you. I remember fighting with you over a bill. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, but when that was when you weren’t, let me ask you this when you were growing up. And your mom was saying, oh, you know, I need a new dress. I’m gonna go to the secondhand store. Did, did she go. But you know what, Shannon, I want to take you to whatever. Let’s get you a new shirt for school pictures. Yeah, let’s and so, I mean, you know, you are the male version of your mother’s money habits.

Yeah. Well, and then my father’s you know, I saw my father’s on the other side, because my dad would would spring for lavish family vacations, right? And that’s my treat, right? I love doing that with my family. Let’s all go to San Diego for Christmas and spend, you know, let’s have a great week because that was the one thing that I worked so hard to provide was the funds to go do something like that, and I wanted everybody to enjoy it. And sometimes it was so stressful getting out of town to go spend the money that we didn’t like each other for the first day or two. But, you know, that was I mean, so So I see both of those. And I’m sitting here looking at that and I’m realizing that those affect my business. I can’t help but no, I see where those are affecting my business. And understanding that you know what, we won’t advertise the $200. We won’t spend it on me. We won’t spend it on that part of it, but we will spend it over here or on earnest money or on due diligence or on these things because there’s value perceived value over here. And there’s perceived trauma over here.

There’s perceived security in what you’re doing over here.

That’s, I guess that’s the right way to put it.

And, you know, real estate, like everything else is a risk. Right? Hey, it’s, and we all know, markets are cyclical, we’re in a, we’re in a down cycle right now. Right? So, you know, your investment dollar is certainly not going as far as it did, you know, heck, even 12 months ago, right? Right. But it’s not stopping you from investing in properties necessarily, or investing in developments or, you know, syndicating or, or whatever it is, you’re moving forward to do. Because you’re still looking at, you know, for looking at at Cap rates, you know, if the rate is four years, based on your cap rate on seven, right?  Right?

Yeah and that’s where, you know, but you, you still see where you’re tripping over this, you know, and, and my dad, you know, would would always find the cheapest piece of dirt he could buy, and put a building on it. And then the rents would match, right? Instead of the McDonald’s philosophy, where you go buy the most expensive piece of dirt in town, and the rents would match, right. And so, you know, and when I’m looking at that, and I and I don’t point out everybody else’s in my life to be, they have issues, and I don’t, but it’s more of a situation where I can, obviously we can see other people’s faults, or other people’s situations more clearly than our own. And probably in all fairness, I should have another episode with you and my mother, so they tell you all of mine, but since it’s my podcast, we’re not going to do that. Right? But that’s the reality of it, right? So you can see this and I’m sitting here and I’m seeing this and I’m going Okay, so we’ve established that there’s issues, how do we say we spend the money, we set the budget, we do these things that we get comfortable with our limp. So that then we can make a decision that is truly logical, and rational and acceptable without the guilt without the shame without the feelings that artificially manipulate what we know is right.

Well, I mean, again, it comes down to you’ve got bad habits. And so it’s a matter of putting in different practices to build better habits. I mean, that’s it it is this, this is a habit. Yeah. Me Me. Hidin bags in the car. Right. That’s a really bad habit. Yeah, I had to break that habit. Um, you know, and you know, conversations about money, are hard conversations have whether you’re having them with yourself. Yeah. Whether you’re having them with a parent or a spouse, you know, if there’s one thing, and I will tell you to this day, when my my husband and I have to have money conversations, I still am like, God do we have to do? It was just like, really? Do we really have to have this conversation? But, you know, it’s the, the hard conversations have to happen. So, you know, I don’t know how much before you started talking about this with me, you were really aware of it until you started talking about it.

I’ll tell you one thing I’ve done because I wasn’t worth it. And that’s really kind of a place that I’ve come from because of some of the choices that I made in 2008 that caused the worldwide meltdown, right? I mean, if you didn’t know that was me. But one of the things that I have done is I have begun spending money on me and education. So I have been spending a lot of money on my personal education on on I was just last week I was with Robert Kiyosaki, Ken McElroy, Chris Macintosh, Simon black, some really big names, and I spend a lot of money on that opportunity. Right. And it’s been amazing. It’s been amazing what it’s done for me because I’m coming away with the value. And this is kind of a, this is kind of an easy thing for me to equate because I can see value, right? I can see I spent money and I can see I got value, right? But what it’s done in my life beyond that has been pretty phenomenal. And that’s just been in the last year I didn’t, I didn’t go to classes. I didn’t go to seminars, I didn’t spend money on myself. I didn’t join groups and clubs of people that are like minded. I didn’t do any of that. But I’ve been I’ve done that in the last year. are in a big way. Right? It’s is paid such huge dividends for me as a person. Because when you have Robert Kiyosaki remember the last conversation you had with him seven months ago. Wow. You know, you’re the number one financial author in the world. And you remember having a conversation with me seven months ago that and be at the same feeling as a Louis Vuitton bag. I don’t know. I’ve never bought one. Right. But that felt really good. But that came at that. And now I’m seeing that. Yeah, okay.

It might be worth it. Might be, am I worth it? Yeah. I kind of think you’re worth it.

So do I have to send you not only a copy of this podcast, but a counseling fee?

No, you don’t have to send me a counseling fee. No, I’m expecting, I don’t know, a trip to the beach, maybe.

Well, let’s let them get cleaned up. It’s a little bit of a mess right now. But, you know, outside of that real quick, Patrice. So when people work with you, they’re coming out of this. And they’re understanding. They’re figuring it out. And they’re able to get over that. So regardless of whether or not they 10x their income, like your favorite friend says, or whether they do other things, where they’re still coming away with that freedom, to understand that these are the things I can control. And this is where I’m at.

And you know, I’m gonna be honest, it’s it’s it, there’s always a part of it, that’s going to be a battle. Yeah. Oh, I still battle demons. Yeah. And I’m always going to battle demons, because bad habits are bad habits. And again, I like some of this to some addiction type of behavior. Yeah. And so, you know, I’m always going to battle some demons. But so much at least from the work that I’ve done, which is why I’ve really tapped into the emotional aspect of this. So much of it comes from how you feel about yourself, right? What, you know, what, what is your relationship with yourself? Yeah, and, you know, how are you projecting what that is? And how you manage money, because worth is worth, right. Money has a worth. Right? You, you have a word. And so, you know, you know, it’s kind of, of pushing that into how you manage that money. I do a lot of mental work and exercises. And, you know, and it’s, I would, I’m not gonna say it’s not hard. But some of it’s not fun. You know, I’ve had really good sessions, and I’ve had some really tough sessions with some of my clients. But when we can turn the corner, you almost see like this a lifting of a weight. Yep. You know, because, again, with understanding, you can start to find a direction.


Yeah. Yeah. Well, and that’s what a lot of people don’t know, right? You feel like you’re in prison, because you don’t know that there is a way out, right? I mean, until you and I really got to have these conversations, I never realized that there was an opportunity to not feel guilty about an indulgence, right. I mean, after all, I did make the money. But what if this happens, or what if that happens, until you get there, you don’t know what the next steps are. And that’s what life is about. It’s about learning. It’s about growing. But, you know, without meeting people like you and putting thought processes like this into place, you just kind of stay stuck. So, guys, if this is you, and I’m gonna say that it’s most of us. If you’ve got issues like this, send us an email at connect at Shannon robinette.com. And we will get you connected to Patrice and you’ll be able to get all of her information and connect with her. So you can have conversations just like this. And I will tell you this, this woman is genuine to the core. And you will find more value than you ever thought possible with that connection. So I know this isn’t typically what we bring here on the real estate rundown. However, I also know that in our conversations in our counseling, this has really improved my outlook and my perception of myself and my relationship with money. And I would honestly say it’s helped me in my conversations and in my business do you At least because I can now help at least I understand what’s pulling. What’s pushing. So, Patrice, thank you so much for showing up and being a part of the real estate rundown family and contributing in such a huge way to my life personally. And I look forward to our continued friendship. Guys if you want to connect with this beautiful lady connect at www.shannonrobnett.com. Until then, we’ll see you on the next episode of The Real Estate Run Down.

Important Links:

About Patrice Bobo-Miles:

Patrice has been engrossed in the mortgage industry for the past 23 years.

She has been married for 33 years to the love of her life Mike and has been blessed with two beautiful, successful, and generous children Aaron age 30, and Alyssa age 24.

Patrice got into the mortgage business when the mortgage broker who provided the financing for her first home purchase offered her a job once the home loan was clear to close. Her first job was as a loan processor but within 2 years she moved into loan origination.

After 10 years in the business, the real estate market crashed and the healthy income that she earned as an originator was gone. She and her family almost lost their home and she was considering bankruptcy to get out from underneath crippling debt. Fortunately, neither of those things happened.

Patrice works closely with her buyers in their home purchases. Under the umbrella of her business, P. Bobo-Miles Collective, LLC she works with clients to teach responsible money management and credit. Offering them the guidance and tools to become financially stable.

Website: https://www.patrice10k.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pbobomiles
Twitter: https://twitter.com/BoboPatrice
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pbobomiles/

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